I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
