yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
