Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
