HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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