No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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