Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
