I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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