we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
