that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
