Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dignity is for republicans.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
