Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
