Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
