Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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