its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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