Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize