Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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