he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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