but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I party with great urgency now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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