Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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