I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
