so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
