Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
