____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize