so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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