Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
