Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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