I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
