apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
