This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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