it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
