I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
