A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
