I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
