scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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