WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
