I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize