I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
