Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
