i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
