I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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