awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
