I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
