Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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