We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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