What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
