I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My hand turned me down
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
