her vagine was all disorganized.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
