Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
