I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
