Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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