I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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