My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
