What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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