Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
