God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
everyone is single if you try hard enough
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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