do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
