I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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