he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
