walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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