he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
