STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
